How to Be More Sexually Confident: 5 Sexologist Hacks for Men


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The ticket to great sex is about learning how to be more sexually confident with your partner.

Unfortunately, that’s not always the easiest thing to do, especially if you suffer from performance anxiety or are like the millions of men from all age groups who experience some degree of sexual dysfunction.

In the following article, we’ll discuss five hacks that you can put to work right away to improve your confidence in the bedroom. First, let’s take a moment to focus on the likeliest impediments that are holding you back.

Determine the Roadblocks to Your Sexual Confidence

Erectile dysfunction and a lack of confidence in the bedroom are pretty simple problems to figure out. They break down largely into five categories. However, simple to figure out doesn’t necessarily mean simple to fix. 

Past Experiences

One of the biggest factors that can negatively affect your performance in the bedroom is your track record. What experiences have you had in the past that are holding you back? If you 

A white man and a black woman are sitting on the bed and not talking to each other

For many men, the issues lie in their upbringing and coming from homes with an unhealthy view of sex. This can definitely occur in strict religious households, though it’s not confined to those groups. 

Men who have witnessed damaging sexual relationships from their parents are likely to take that model into adulthood. It can result in choosing the wrong partners and repeating the same mistakes. 

No Experience

Men who have never had much or any experience in the bedroom will feel like fish out of water when they start to focus on this area of their lives for the first time.

Sometimes the only way out of it is through it, and we’ll be talking a little more about that as this article progresses.

Self-Conscious Behavior

To truly be confident in bed, a man has to get out of his own head. Spending too much time there will result in ignoring your partner’s needs, which can, in turn, lead to bad sex. 

Get a few of those “fails” under your belt, and the self-conscious behavior only gets worse. As a result, you may start to see yourself as a bad lover, and maybe you are. That doesn’t mean you can’t turn things around, though. 

Girl in red dress is touching a shy man on the sofa


Stress at work, in your relationship, from family members or the outside world. All these factors can make it difficult to let loose and be the lover that you’re capable of being. 

Medical Reasons

Men who are overweight, have developed diabetes or other underlying health condition, and who are taking new medications, may all experience problems in the bedroom. Those problems can certainly be damaging to their confidence. 

Now that you know the main reasons you’re probably not having the best sex you could be, let’s look at the hacks you can take to reverse course. Let’s continue.

1. Get Your Mind Right

Want to know how to feel sexually confident with yourself no matter what? Start by getting to know your worth. 

Look at all the positive things that are going on in your life and connect the dots to why someone would find those things attractive. Great job? Lots of responsibility at work? Maybe you are financially stable and have your own place. Your car’s paid for. All these little factors contribute to positive self-talk. 

Sure, you’ve probably got a few hangups, too, but try not to dwell on those. Build yourself up because chances are pretty darn good you’re a lot more appealing to people than you think you are. 

2. Prepare Your Body

If you really want to figure out how to be more sexually assertive with others, you first have to be more sexually assertive with yourself. That means learning your body in two different ways.

First, get used to seeing yourself naked. You’re going to notice things about your body you like and things you don’t. Embrace it all. The more you see yourself naked, the less self-conscious you’ll be when it’s go-time. That’s because anyone who likes you enough to go to bed with you is already attracted enough to appreciate you warts and all. 

The second thing you need to do, don’t snicker, is masturbate. Masturbation gives you the ability to learn what you enjoy and what you don’t. This leads to better communication with your partner and results in better sex. 

Before starting new relationship, it’s important to know you are healthy. Talk to a doctor or nurse about your sexual health and get a checkup. Searching for a “Chlamydia test near me” can be the easiest way to do it.  

3. Build Confidence Outside the Bedroom

To discover how to open up sexually, you have to build confidence outside the bedroom. That comes with taking care of your body, looking your best, and taking part in activities that build your confidence and happiness factors. You do you. Make plenty of time for yourself, and you will feel better when you approach your partner for sex. 

A young and self confident man is doing sport outside

4. Open up to Others

Another tip for how to be assertive in bed is to monitor how you interact with others in a non-sexual way. Do you cross your arms and legs a lot and refuse to make eye contact? That sends a message to others that you aren’t accepting outside communications. Adopt a more open stance. Let your hands down. Smile often and steer others toward talking about themselves. Here are some tips how to be a likeable person.

People who feel you’re genuinely interested and open to them will feel the same for you. That can be the spark that will ignite once you get behind closed doors.

5. Give Yourself a Boost

Gaining confidence with women will happen if you keep the four hacks we’ve already listed. Sometimes, however, you need a little extra help.

For that reason, you should also consider the benefits of using a specially-formulated supplement designed to attack the major bedroom confidence detractors. Things like weaker erections, performance anxiety, and blood flow issues have a direct impact on your work in the bedroom, so explore your options.

Learning how to be more sexually confident is a process. Once you know how it, the confidence will compound with interest every time you explore each other in the bedroom.

Best of luck as you work to build yourself up.

For more lifestyle advice, make sure to check out some of our other posts.